“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist” said Gandhi.

Sometimes conflict has created such deep anger that we cannot unclench our fists. Sure, we know that peace is a good idea and all that, and sure, we know that emotionally mature people let go of anger and move on. But sometimes the anger still just won’t let go of us.

Did you know that a legitimate and valued part of the mediation process is the opportunity to vent if you want to? A good mediator knows that this is absolutely key for many people. Venting helps the mediator understand what the person is thinking and feeling, for a start. And it helps the person venting to get off his chest the frustration, resentment, bewilderment and angst rushing around in his head or heart. Venting is wonderful! Venting helps unclench the fist. And yes, at the end of the vent, the one who created the anger in you in the first place may still be impossible, but your hand will be a little more open, literally and metaphorically, to shaking hands in order to take the next step in the process. Say yes to venting to an interested mediator near you.